My struggle with needing validation

Oh hey.. been a while.

I noticed a post a while back where I stated I'd do this every week.

Feeling a bit of guilt for not maintaining that so here we are, going to try and be more consistent.

Currently I'm noticing how easy life can take my sense of self-worth and send in to the stars and then on the other hand, how easy it can drive it deep into the dirt.

Meaning I'm letting the wave of life do what it pleases with me.

One day something really cool happens in my life.. I'm happy and I'm very confident.

The next, something that causes a struggle happens.. and I'm sad and feel weak and empty.

Now.. I'm human and want to have some grace with myself as I don't believe I'll ever truly overcome this.. but damn, I am confident that I can calm the waters a bit and at least lessen the affect that the ups and downs have on my self-esteem, confidence, drive, etc...

I don't know where I'm going with this (but as a few really great men I know would ask me following a statement like that.. "What if you did know?" :)

I'm learning to take deep breaths,

appreciate what I have,

appreciate how far I've come,

be satisfied with everything I have,

everything I get to do every day,

all of the wonderful people in my life,

and not need the ups in order to be satisfied with my life.

Honestly taking a step back and reading this makes me very happy.. I'm going to fail at this and the ups and downs will knock me on my ass again and again but damn, I'm so thankful to have this perspective on this right now. At least I'm making an effort.

I'm very grateful to be attending a Men's group at the moment and be surrounded by very good people who care and support me. I'm thankful for my family, friends and my community.

I would be suffering, lost, confused and so many more things without the people I am surrounded by today.